wind and rain

          One thing good about TOMORROW is everything start over again! you have another fucking chance to get smacked in your brain. Coffee, energy drink, and some ugly alcohol, take all of them until your body immobilized! That actually feels good. You can look into the mirror if you don't believe. You see your fucking face reflected and doubt if that's really ur fucking face! YES, unfortunately it is!!! and YOU just hate it!!! SO MUCH!!! the severity can't be described, you just wanna smack it!!!

     Am I smart? I don't know. I spend a significant amount of time blaming myself not to be the best. It is not always the case. This emotional downturn happens when perceived self is distorted by the real self. People are trying hard to pull these two together, nevertheless, the perceived image can hardly be the same as the factual one. There will be too much joy otherwise. I watched Heroes. TV dramas aren't always non-sense BS. If viewers ever take deep insights, they can see the reflection and the truth. Not everyone has superpower as the ones in Heroes, but everyone has potential, and that is the real power. The study of people is always incredibaly hard because of the changing nature and the potential. One day, I will pull my perceived self and the real self together. Not perfectly, but close to perfection! 

     Every minute is cramed with excitement and unknown. When it comes to explore the question mark, passion is needed. Just like every time I buy Apple juice which always keeps me high. We cry because the characters in the movie are pathetic, we laugh because they are happy. Which we dont realize is we are the characters in our own movies.

     My guilt is not expressive, and nobody can probably tell. It's inside the deepest dark. I guess I carry too much pressure from the society which makes me anti-personality. When a person knows what is wrong and still insists to do it, it's even worse than ignorant people doing so. Unfortunately, a lot of time Im doing so.

     I have too many apologies to say to everyone. It's a positive thing to realize how wrong myself is, and it's a negative thing to have done the wrongs.